First Page Challenge

Harlequin author Julie Cohen challenged writers to post the first page of their books and comment how we created character and conflict right away. I decided to give it a go.

From PLAIN JANE'S PRINCE CHARMING on shelves November 7th:

"Mr. Ryder." Standing in the foyer of Cyberworx's state-of-the-art meeting facility, Jane Dawson couldn't believe how steady her voice sounded when inside she felt like a coffee bean being ground into tiny bits. Still she managed to smile at the gray-haired businessman. "I would like to speak with you. For a minute. That is if you have time. Please."

Here I wanted to show Jane's nervousness. She thinks of a coffee bean because she manages a coffee house.

Jane winced.

I wanted to show her being self-conscious and trying hard not to make a mistake.

So much for being smooth and collected, but this was different from speaking with customers while she managed The Hearth, a trendy coffee house in downtown Portland, Oregon. That job required patience, a smile and making sure the staff at the counter got the orders right, not cultured eloquence and grace.

This paragraph was intended to be a snapshot of Jane's character. Her job, where its located, what she's capable of and what she isn't.

"You want to speak to me?" In spite of his tailored suit, he looked more like a doting grandfather than the successful CEO of a multinational hi-tech company. "Chase...Ryder?"

He sounded surprised.

Looked more like a doting grandfather, sounded surprised and his dialogue were clues who the man may or may not be.

Of course, he did. People like Jane, college drop-outs who brewed coffee all day, didn't usually approach people like him. And normally she wouldn't. Especially when picking up after a catering job. On her day off.

She's a fish out of water here. "People like him" shows she stereotypes people and may have an us vs. them mentality which could come back to bite her. A key bit of characterization comes in with "college drop-outs who brewed coffee all day." She went to college, but never finished for some reason. "Normally she wouldn't" shows this was something very different for her to be doing. And to be there on her day off was to suggest it was important for her to be at Cyberworx and talk to Chase Ryder. The question now becomes why?

Interesting exercise. Thank you Julie for suggesting it. Doing this, I realized I've put way more character than conflict on that first page. I don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing!