Losing pages

Here's the tally for the weekend and Monday:

New pages written: 4 (goal: 6.4 pages)
Old pages revised on paper: 105
Pages of revisions typed in: 105
Pages lost or gained due to revisions: -6
Total page count to date: 156 (goal: 200 pages)
Days remaining until D-day: 21

Emails from editor in UK: 0
Emails from agent in NY: 0

Chocolate consumed: Tootsie roll and some whoppers
Junk food consumed: ice cream
Exercise: walking
Television watched: Legally Blonde, JoJo's Circus, The Doodlebops
Pictures of Hayden downloaded: 8 (Thank you Maria for providing much needed inspiration!)
Tears: none
Weight loss: 2 lbs

Okay, I'm in revision mode and I'm losing pages. Not good. But they needed to go. I think a few more need to go, too, but not until I have more pages on the second half of the book written. Yes, I'm still working on the first 100 pages. Okay, really only chapter five. The missing scene took longer to do. The revisions took longer to do. Everything is just taking me longer to do.

Am I panicked? I wouldn't say panicked. I've calmed down a bit, but I am feeling the pressure and am a little discouraged, too.

I have reached the point of sleeping with my manuscript under my pillow. Just one of those things I've always done during deadline time. I dreamed once that writer elves finished a story that I left under my pillow. So when I'm in a time crunch I always sleep with pages under my pillow. The writer elves have never shown up, but you never know! That's why I buy a lottery ticket when the jackpot gets large. Somebody's gotta win!