So much to do

Here's the tally for Saturday:

New pages written: 6 (goal: 6.4 pages)
Old pages revised on paper: 0
Pages of revisions typed in: 0
Pages lost or gained due to revisions: 0
Total page count to date: 144 (goal: 200 pages)
Days remaining until D-day: 31

Emails from editor in UK: 0
Emails from agent in NY: 0

Chocolate consumed: cupcake, ice cream
Junk food consumed: none
Exercise: none
Television watched: a little AOTC with the family before heading into the cave to write
Pictures of Hayden downloaded: none
Tears: none
Weight loss: 2 lbs (if this becomes a weight gain, it will go away)

Typical Saturday: soccer game (nothing but mass chaos on the field with 6 kindergartners), errands, birthday party (Happy 6th Birthday Noah!), church.

For Star Wars fans only: I must tell you about my 2 1/2 year old Yoda-wannabe. I already mentioned that she duels while making light saber sounds. Well tonight, she started using Force powers. She sticks her arm in front of her with her palm out (while making sounds) and uses the Force to repel you. The kids and hubby think this is hilarious so they spent ten minutes showing me how Rose could use her Force power against them. I'm not sure which was funnier--Yoda Rose or everyone else falling and jumping backwards.

In the morning, I pasted scenes from my draft file into chapters. I have 17 pages in Chapter 4 and the same amount in Chapter 5. Chapters 6 and 7 contain about half of that. Chapters 8 and 9 are non-existent and Chapter 10 has 18 pages. Still a ways to go, but I need to start revising the first 100 pages. I've got all the pieces. It's time to rewrite, layer and polish. Yet I can't forget about the missing scenes. Four of them from the synopsis plus all the fillers, sequels and ones I don't know I need yet. I've been concentrating on getting the pages down, but how long is that going to take? I need to revise. So I can revise again and again.

After lunch, I managed to squeeze in some writing and a half-hour nap because my hubby took the kids. And again after dinner, I left the family watching Attack of The Clones and retreated to my room with my Alphie to write.

Lack of sleep is playing a part in my rising anxiety, but having to be finished by the end of the month (or earlier if possible) is playing a huge role. I know I can do this (and thanks for all the encouragement in the comments. You can't know how much it means to me to know I'm not alone!) but I do feel as if this morning the gun appeared and is being aimed at my head, only for brief moments, but it is there.